29 jun. 2005
blog fiction
Luego de leer este post del Dr. Londoño, me inspiré para escribir este guión...
CREDIT SEQUENCE:
CREDIT SEQUENCE:
"BLOG FICTION"
INT. '74 CHEVY (MOVING) – MORNING
An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1974 Chevy Nova BARRELS down a homeless-ridden street in Caracas. In the front seat are two young fellas – one short, one big – both wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters. Their names are HUGUITO (short) and NOVATO (big). Novato is behind the wheel.
NOVATO
INT. '74 CHEVY (MOVING) – MORNING
An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1974 Chevy Nova BARRELS down a homeless-ridden street in Caracas. In the front seat are two young fellas – one short, one big – both wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters. Their names are HUGUITO (short) and NOVATO (big). Novato is behind the wheel.
NOVATO
Okay now, tell me about the blog bars
HUGUITO
What do you want to know?
NOVATO
Well, pings are legal there, right?
HUGUITO
Yeah, they're legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't walk into a restaurant, take out you’re laptop, and start bloggin' away. You're only supposed to blog in your home or certain designated places.
NOVATO
Those are blog bars?
HUGUITO
Yeah, it breaks down like this: it's legal to ping, it's legal to own a blog and, if you're the proprietor of a blog bar, it's legal to allow people to blog in it. It's legal to carry you’re laptop with you, which doesn't really matter 'cause – get a load of this – if the cops stop you, it's illegal for them to search you. Searching you is a right that the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
NOVATO
That did it, man – I'm fuckin' goin', that's all there is to it.
HUGUITO
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
NOVATO
What?
HUGUITO
It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.
NOVATO
Examples?
HUGUITO
Well, in Amsterdam, you can post from a movie theatre. And I don't mean in a lousy desktop computer, either. They give you a cell phone, like a Treo. In Paris, you can blog at McDonald's. Also, you know what they call Que Te Puedo Decir with Cheese in Paris?
NOVATO
They don't call it Que Te Puedo Decir with Cheese?
HUGUITO
No, they don't got qtpd.com there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Que Te Puedo Decir is.
NOVATO
What'd they call it?
HUGUITO
Agregué Aguá Agité y Listé with Cheese.
NOVATO
(repeating)
Agregué Aguá Agité y Listé with Cheese. What'd they call a Topocho?
HUGUITO
Topocho's a Topocho, but they call it Le Topocho.
NOVATO
Le Topocho. What do they call an Infelix?
HUGUITO
I dunno, I didn't go into no desembocados. But you know what they use for writing blogs in Holland instead of WordPress?
NOVATO
What?
HUGUITO
Blogger.
NOVATO
Goddamn!
HUGUITO
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean a little bit of CSS on the side of the template, they fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.
NOVATO
Ouccch!
HUGUITO
What do you want to know?
NOVATO
Well, pings are legal there, right?
HUGUITO
Yeah, they're legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't walk into a restaurant, take out you’re laptop, and start bloggin' away. You're only supposed to blog in your home or certain designated places.
NOVATO
Those are blog bars?
HUGUITO
Yeah, it breaks down like this: it's legal to ping, it's legal to own a blog and, if you're the proprietor of a blog bar, it's legal to allow people to blog in it. It's legal to carry you’re laptop with you, which doesn't really matter 'cause – get a load of this – if the cops stop you, it's illegal for them to search you. Searching you is a right that the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
NOVATO
That did it, man – I'm fuckin' goin', that's all there is to it.
HUGUITO
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
NOVATO
What?
HUGUITO
It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.
NOVATO
Examples?
HUGUITO
Well, in Amsterdam, you can post from a movie theatre. And I don't mean in a lousy desktop computer, either. They give you a cell phone, like a Treo. In Paris, you can blog at McDonald's. Also, you know what they call Que Te Puedo Decir with Cheese in Paris?
NOVATO
They don't call it Que Te Puedo Decir with Cheese?
HUGUITO
No, they don't got qtpd.com there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Que Te Puedo Decir is.
NOVATO
What'd they call it?
HUGUITO
Agregué Aguá Agité y Listé with Cheese.
NOVATO
(repeating)
Agregué Aguá Agité y Listé with Cheese. What'd they call a Topocho?
HUGUITO
Topocho's a Topocho, but they call it Le Topocho.
NOVATO
Le Topocho. What do they call an Infelix?
HUGUITO
I dunno, I didn't go into no desembocados. But you know what they use for writing blogs in Holland instead of WordPress?
NOVATO
What?
HUGUITO
Blogger.
NOVATO
Goddamn!
HUGUITO
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean a little bit of CSS on the side of the template, they fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.
NOVATO
Ouccch!
{Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." }
¡Q' IMAGINACION! I'm laughing my head off just imagining that scene (Huguito & Novato vs Samuel L Jackson & John Travolta).
Bye bye ;)
Bye bye ;)
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